Tuesday, June 20, 2006

back and about to leave

i haven't posted in a couple days because my new neighbor broke my internet. yay! new neighbor!

anyway, i got it working again. i'm now onto my fourth chapter. can you believe it? i figure i only need about 60 more to get into the right word count for novels.

on that overwhelming note, i decided to start a tiny little side project, which is a writing wiki. if you don't know what a wiki is, you can look it up on wikipedia.

so this writing wiki is more dead than this site, but it has a good url, so if people stumble upon it and decide to add to it, it might take off. i'm not going to worry too much about it.

here it is: write

(and if you dig around a bit in it, you're bound to find what i had written for that sci-fi story i had talked about earlier)

oh, and about leaving, this weekened i'm going to be leaving the country to explore europe. i decided it would be good to get out of the flat for a bit, so i only got a one-way ticket.

Saturday, June 17, 2006

an (old) idea

i wrote a post describing how i was going to serialize an old story i had gotten quite far with, but then i found out i had already posted it all online. what forethought!

anyway, i don't want to link to it, but if you use msn search, it might show up if you type in "lukewarm illegality" (with quotation marks). for some reason, i've been blacklisted from google and yahoo, even though it used to be the other way around.

chapter 3 has been started, and i hope to finish it tonight.


by the look of my last two posts, it may have seemed like i was never going to actually sit down and write, but here i am, two chapters written, and i'm feeling good.

i've come to the conclusion, however, that my story has absolutely jack-shit nothing to do with the over-arching concept of jesus and whatnot. this doesn't worry me, though, as i see it as a way to really spring all that crazy crap on an unsuspecting reader.

there are drunk idiots yelling at cars outside my window. in front of the window stands my sprite "zero" that i accidently bought. but i don't care! it's a joyous time. i've officially gotten in the swing of this novel.

now i'm going to try to sleep, so i do sort of want the drunk people to go home.

Friday, June 16, 2006

too many characters

most people follow a certain set of behavior practices and themes. a big one of these is the aversion to dealing with strangers. you get on a bus. the bus is empty except for the driver and one passenger. do you walk over and sit with the one other passenger? of course not.

so when i get my laundry delivered and ask the guy how he's doing, i only want to hear "good, thanks," or "good, you?" but i'll accept what he said to me, which was, "nackered." okay. cool. i laughed politely.

"okay, thanks very much," i said.
"just plain nackered," he said.
"well, good luck."
"and i've got a long night ahead of me, too."
"okay," shutting the door. "bye..."

i know, i know, we're all lonely, and i was being heartless, but first off, my dealings with the overly tattooed guy who delivers my laundry probably won't develop into friendship, and secondly, i can't really understand people here when they talk, so it's hard for me to make small talk with them. getting in a cab is the worst thing ever.

"rymay, warewetayk'nya?" [all right, mate, where are we taking you?]
"to the health clinic"
"zrethialry" [all right]
"it's just a check-up, nothing pressing. don't worry."
"nomay, iwajussayin itsahry" [no, mate, i was just saying it's all right]
"oh sorry, heh,"
"busgudtana yuralry" [but it's good to know you're all right]

that was a few days ago. and that's someone who had english as their first and only language.

and so my story, as it's chugging along (pretty well, i might add) has a multitude of characters i created without any clear relevence to the story who are just waiting to debut. i'm thinking a lot of them won't, though, or at least not for a long time. there's just not enough glue to hold them all together and i don't want to sacrifice them to guest-stardom.

"urban" sort of sounds like "holden"

aside from deciding to write a chapter every two days from now on (yeah, i know) i've been working feverishly on making the beginning of my story unlike the catcher in the rye.

first of all, i dislike the catcher in the rye, so if i see any similarity, it is disparaging. secondly, any stories using elements such as, say, a young man, an introvert, or a city are immediately compared to holden's pointless adventure.

right now my feelings are that only the start of the second chapter will be reminiscent of salinger, so i'm okay.

Thursday, June 15, 2006

starting the second chapter

i finally got a good start on my second chapter.  so far, it's just describing a lot of State City, which has been featured in a few of my earlier stories.  it's a mix of new york city, tokyo, gotham, blade runner's los angeles, and a few ideas of my own.

i've also worked out the basic idea of chapter three. 


to make my posts more interesting, i've decided to stop posting the random pathetic drivel i've been reduced to lately and be more specific in the writing process.

a couple days ago, my father asked the all-too familiar question of what i was making of my life. i told him i was writing.

"hey, i think that's great," he said, "but writers need to do things in their lives to write about. they write about the things that happen to them."

"so dad, dostoevsky killed people? jules verne had a time machine? bradbury lived in the future?"

"yeah, but hemingway-"

"i don't like hemingway."

i don't know. maybe i'm stubborn, but it was a stupid thing for him to say. if he'd said, you're a bad writer, i would have said, fair dues, i'll get a job.

anyway, i do often write about things that have happened to me. urban, the main character, had a brother who died in a war. the circumstances of this are that his unit was firing on an enemy unit, but it turned out that the enemy unit was a british unit. the mistake was figured out eventually, but not before a british machine-gunner killed urban's brother.

i haven't actually killed anybody or been killed, but i was in a bar once. this was in the most backward part of the united kingdom. i forget the circumstance, but i was standing near this big guy who was looking at me funny, so i decided to make small talk. i don't know what i said, but this is what i got in response:

"you're an american," he accused.

oh, shit.

"we're not all the same," i nervously laughed.

"americans tried to kill me," he snarled.

"oh really?" i'm going to die.

"when i was in iraq, those idiots mistook us for the enemy and opened fire. i'm lucky to be alive."

"well, i'm sorry on behalf of my fellow americans," i said.

by the end of it, we were good drunken pals, and i wasn't killed in retribution.

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

losing faith

i'm having a lot of issues with this story. i have ideas and plots, but i can't get any of it down on paper.

-i'm not sure how i want things to work when christ shows up.
-i'm not sure what i want my main character to do.
-i'm not sure how my characters meet.

my first idea was to have them meet up coincidentally, but then i figured i didn't need to have them meet up and just write chapters about each individually.

now i think i need to expand urban's role.

by the way, i changed his name to urban rurik, i think, but i don't put people's last names in unless necessary.

Monday, June 12, 2006

one more thing

one more thing i'm thinking about instead of writing:

-how i have one singular white hair sprouting from my chin


sorting things out

the reason i haven't been writing a whole lot in the past couple days was because i was stuck. usually, that would be the time i give up and try to start something new. the thought crossed my mind this time,


i've come up with good groundwork that will propel me to work past these problems. good characters, good story, decent theme, etc. (actually, that's about it)

my problems are everywhere in between. i can't seem to get my characters to meet. i designed them to be all over the world, and they tend to have no reason to go anywhere else.

i've worked through a few problems through a listing technique. i write the problem i'm having and then list all of the solutions that pop in my head. i'm going to have to do this a lot more.

still going strong on this one

Sunday, June 11, 2006

hell is other writers

okay, so i haven't been writing very much for the past couple days, and in that time, to make myself feel better, i've tried to seek out communities of writers. i've found a few.

Absolute Write

Writing Forums

okay, so only a couple. these two are the probably the biggest, most active forums for writers. and not only that, they suck.

everyone takes it so seriously and there's no real community. that's because there's something inherently wrong with writers' brains.

so i'm going to go back to writing.

P.S. sorry for the last post. and this one.

edit: by suck, no real community, and something wrong with their brains, i really meant that it isn't what i'm looking for. i'll give them another chance, since i can't bring myself to write anything.

things i'm thinking about instead of writing

-how i bought "Sprite Z" instead of normal sprite by accident

-how i have to get a blood test on tuesday

-whether i should try to make a gin or vodka martini

-that damn sprite

-whether john lennon wrote better songs when he was in the beatles or after

-i mean, after the beatles, you're hard-pressed to find a song without the word "yoko" in it

-oh yoko, standing on a corner just me and yoko ono, everybody's talking about john and yoko, hold on yoko, aisumasen yoko, dear yoko, happy christmas kyoko (it counts)

-what the songs would sound like if yoko was replaced with cynthia (lennon's first wife)

-whether to eat my stir-fry noodles today

-whether i could pull off putting the word "yoko" into my everyday speech.

-'yeah, i'm just going to eat my yoko noodles. they're pretty much like regular noodles but with the word "yoko" in front'

-maybe i could turn it into some sort of cockney rhyming scheme.

-anyone up for a mug of hot yoko? it's on the yoko ono of 5th and madison

-my toes look stupid

Saturday, June 10, 2006


i'd have to say that things are going well. i've hit a little problem, but i actually feel like i can work through it.

i'm only four pages into it, but that's a good sign. i figure if i write much faster, i'm not thinking things through. keep in mind my outline is less than a page long. i'm coming up with the guts on the spot.

the next step is some more brainstorming. i have a good start, but it's sort of faltering.

i need to pick it up

Thursday, June 08, 2006


i've just read some of my old posts, and it turns out i've been trying cover my tracks after detailing the situations i was trying to hide. i'm forgetful like that.

so we know that genre i was talking about is christian apocalyptic fiction. to be clear, this will not be the end of the story. i have one trick up my sleeve (which i hope i haven't revealed already).

i'm not going to mock anything. there's enough of that in the real world. this will be a serious sort of thing without my social commentary. as i've said, religion will not be a theme.

there you have it

i've just done better

i restarted my story and it's a lot better.

problems still persist.

most of these problems won't hit until part 2. so fuck them!

well anyway, i've been researching my genre. i learned something new, today. it exists. in fact, it's blossoming. that sucks for me, because i'm now "on the bandwagon".

i hope to debase it, though.

still, it was disheartening to see that general idea had been played out so many times before. that said, i am taking a different approach to it. so if my story won't be so revolutionary in concept, it can be in other ways. from the beginning, i was planning on having all these idiotic plot transitions occur in very serious tones to poke fun at our constructs. the established genre just furthers this cause.

more to break.

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

some things never change

i've started writing the first part. it's not very compelling, but i hope to do better.

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

routines without routines

i've sort of been doing all these things, but from now on, i'm going to seriously do them.

letters - describing the good and the bad and keeping things in perspective.

progress log - every day, an entry will be made, even if it says "slept all day, did nothing"

project bible (not original) - will detail all characters, events, facts, terms, etc.

all that said, i'm still not going to follow all the crazy crap writers tell you to do.

tuesday's on the phone to me

is it a cop-out to make my character character-less?

one of the ideas i worked out was to make Urban a sort of cold-hearted no-nonsense sort of non-person. the demeaner of an assassin (not the one from the professional). he has no dependencies and doesn't want any.

is this as lame as it sounds to me? i'm running out of options. i want to make my characters different. usually, i just peice together bits of my own personality with bits that i'd like to have in my personality. i'm not going to do that this time.

if only i weren't so damn multi-facetted. it's as if my perfection is my undoing.

the reason why i post this stuff publically is that it gets me to think. while writing this, i've gone through many more ideas than i had thought of in the 2 days i was thinking about it.

i think urban could be a celebrity. an actor. a musician.

we'll see how this works out in an outline.

Monday, June 05, 2006

i'm very sorry

but i'm going to talk a little bit about politics and religion as my subconscious considers what my MC's personality will be like.

a lot of people really like 1984. i do not. it's unplausible and poorly written, like all orwell stuff.

then we have bush's second term and orwell is left with only one fault. how dare bush make orwell's stuff better!

i'm so fucking tired of politics, that i don't give too shits if bush decided to attack iraq, iran, canada, ohio, whatever. he can make stupid the new smart. i won't care.

but when he subverts our basic freedoms, he's gone too far. he just explained that he needs to outlaw gays* "because activist courts have left our nation with no other choice."

(*it's easier just to say this)

no other choice. i don't know if that was a line from 1984, but if orwell was a good writer, it should have been. that's what i think of when i think of a police state. crime is too prevalent, we need to put everyone in prison. we have no other choice.

then we have the whole "nation" thing. america is not a nation. it is a state. white europeans are a nation. native americans are a nation. africans are a nation. america, if it had to be described as a nation, would be a conglomeration of every nation. we're all represented in the nation of america. there is no common descent. we are gay. we are straight. we are black. we are white. we are muslim. we are christian. we are everything and everything in between.

bush is confusing his nation of white, christian, old money, "straight" people with the state he's supposed to be running. or maybe he's not confusing anything. maybe he's dead-on. his nation of christian retards would be opposed to ACTIVIST courts. on that note, he also demonized activism. that's great. if there was a presidential election right now between bush and big brother, i would not only vote big brother, but i'd put one of those signs up for him on my lawn. i'd put a big brother bumpersticker on my car.

people are so willing to let it all go, though, so when you get something as absurd as this, people will think, well, he's not a democrat, he has to be right. as someone who is not a democrat, please, people, don't let this happen to america. america was such a good idea! but in every generation, a group of idiots (surprising number of christians) has to try and ruin everything. our founding fathers were not christians, keep that in mind. they thought christianity was for stupid people. it was not the concept of america. if any religion was, it was deism. there's no passage in the non-existent deist bible that says gays or blacks or jews or anybody isn't as good as everybody else.

i'll tell all you american people right now, party politics and religion will be the death of you. if we resurrected all the founding fathers, gave them guns, and put them in a room with the administration and congress, or let them at fox news or john kerry or whatever side you're on, the founding fathers would all commit suicide. it's too late. they've won. abbie hoffman was absolutely right. i'm just glad he didn't have to see just how bad it got.

it's scary.

back to writing, i'd like to take this time to admit that my novel will be horribly anti-religious. i'm going to write religious people as they are. murderous, idiotic, and blind. i think so little of these religious retards that i won't even make their stupidity my theme. it's just a given.

i'm not an athiest, but if i have to choose between a god that's as big an asshole as yours is or none at all, i'd choose none.

your christian, jewish, muslim, et al gods, they're all dicks. not only do they come across as less than omniscient, they come across as less than intelligent. they're petty, violent liars.

i know that a lot of religious people are good, but they are either consciously or subconsciously blanking most of the bible and history of their religion out of their mind. it doesn't agree with a life of goodness.

but you christian folks can sleep at night because my novel will say you're all absolutely right. jesus really is god, his son, his mother, his dog-walker, whatever the hell you believe in. i'll say you're absolutely right.

that's when the fun starts.

if all this sounds like a big attack on your beliefs, forget it. go back to church and get your two minutes hate in.

Sunday, June 04, 2006

as of this moment

i have 5 characters under my belt. i can write these characters. i even like some of them.

3 of them are based on real people.

1 of them is based on a historical figure

2 of them are people from my life

1 of them is someone i haven't said more than a sentence to. expect this character to speak as much.

okay, so i know i'm not letting much information out about anything, but i have three reasons.

1. publishing issues and dispersal of information
2. it's going to be a surprise! to you! maybe!
3. i'll get discouraged if i put it in audience-voice too early

okay, let me go over THAT, now. first, i don't want you piranhas stealing all my ideas because hell knows i would. secondly, i might decide to publish my chapters in serial form. this is a big maybe, so don't get your non-existent hopes up. thirdly, i write notes and stuff to myself in forms that i'd be embarrassed if others read. even when i write my less-than-inspired posts here, they are designed for an audience, no matter how not real that audience may be. that's why i post here. so i can get that voice and that manner of thinking.

let's take it from the top, then. 5 characters, right? right, but not one of those bares the name Urban Sinclair. i have a list of names. under each name is a list of personal attributes. the five are all comprehensive, but Urban is still a nothing. i've had ideas, but i ruined them by giving them to other characters. i'm glad i did this, in retrospect, as i want to create an original character for Urban.

still, who the hell is Urban?

i've been writing for a while now, and i still don't have any specific characters. i want a character that can be reused. i want something distinct.

it will come

almost to the starting line

my last few posts haven't had much substance, so i thought i would go into a bit more detail, which will hopefully clear things up for me.

my new story is, as i've said, a development on an old idea of mine. this old idea was to write about the second coming. yep, jesus coming down and judging all of us.

jesus was going to come down and do pretty much what it said he was going to do in the bible. (except for the stuff he lied about, like it happening in the apostles' lifetimes.)

when i originally thought about it, i wasn't sure how to frame a more specific, character-driven story within the overarching concept.

when i think back on it, i probably could have just let things roll, but it would take a lot of research into all the passages of the bible. i know, the bible isn't all that long, but it's such a horrible read. when i read bits of it, all i hear is, "this is the dumbest shit in the world and so many people believe it!" it's basically how i feel about the da vinci code.

to be honest, i was originally willing to do some research, but, if any of you would like to look into it, all of the passages contradict each other. that's why nobody really talks about it. (except fundamental US protestants, but they're crazy. they thrive in contradiction. and urine.)

so now, instead of framing character whatnot in the whatsit, i've taken a shortcut. i'm not going to divulge everything, but it involves most of the concepts i've thought about from the start of this record. jesus is not an alien, but the idea was toyed with.

yet, after all that, i still need the character frame thingy. i've been looking for a start, but after that, i have, what might just be, a very brief, simple outline. that, ladies and gentlemen, is a first.

i'm thinking of a completely inconsequential beginning plot that sets the tone for me to destroy. twice.

it's going to establish a character or two, put them in a nasty bind, and let my natural deus ex machina run wild.

it's just like the bible. sure, jesus will save you, but after that, you're heading right for a sea of fire. unless you don't believe in that bit.

"Urban Sinclair stars, with guest appearances by Jesus THE Christ, a space station, the author, and many other favorites!"

Saturday, June 03, 2006

change of pace

i know it might look as if i've had an idea milling around if you've been looking at the last few posts, and you'd be right, but i've just changed my mind.

i was thinking, yesterday, that i not only didn't love my story idea, i didn't even like it. so i'm on a new track.

this new one is a development on a previous idea. i still don't have an end worked out, but i have a good middle. i think i could love this story.

it has every element i could possibly hope for, and it's delightfully absurd. i'm just going to brainstorm characters and specifics.

Thursday, June 01, 2006

unusable dialogue

i try not to date my work, so when i came up with the following, i had to promptly throw it out. don't worry, i haven't started yet, i just came up with it to provide some characterization.

“What the hell is your problem?”
“You should be asking about your problem,” she said.
“Okay, then, what’s my problem?”
“What year is it?” she asked.
He hesitated.
“No, it’s not,” she said. “It’s still 2006, and that’s just the tip of the iceberg. Do you want me to go on?”

i think i'm on the verge of a breakthrough, though. i've been analyzing what i want out of this story and how to go about it, and i've found out what i've been doing wrong. my characters don't want to do anything. i could blame this on my skills as a writer, but i really have to chalk this one up to my personality. i don't want to do anything. i do sort of want to write a book, but it would be quite a dull novel if it chronicled that.

I wrote out the following:

Possible goals:

So my character will have to do at least one of those. that will be his motivation.