Tuesday, July 11, 2006

writing forums

oh my.

every single topic has been made before, and all the new topics consist of every single member repeating what the people before them had said. it's like a circle jerk for people who appreciate decorative soaps and porcelain figurines.

and these members are sooooo dull. if i were forced to read a book written by a contributor to absolute write, i would fashion pointed spikes out of the rolled-up pages and stab them into my eyes.

no, but really, some of them have written books. here's a finely titled one: "the pacific between" by some jackass. as soon as i saw that, i wanted to write a book called "the qualifier after; an odyssey into boring, cliched writing."

i said something harmless recently on absolute write. i implied that everyone on the board wrote fantasy stories. someone called that a "tad impolite." i wrote back, "well i'm quite sorry if i hurt your feelings," and guess what? the idiot didn't realize i was being sardonic! "no hard feelings" was the general response i got.

no, no, no. i meant for the hard feelings to get personal. i was insulting you for being a thin-skinned pussy of a human being. not only did i insult you for writing about dragons and fairies, i showed how sad it was to care about being insulted.

i thought of explaining this on the board, but i decided to post here, instead.

Friday, July 07, 2006

my new idea

...is really good.

i don't want to give anything away, but i had a basic concept that i just stumbled upon yesterday, but then i realized there were too many problems with it. then, as i tossed and turned last night, i figured out how to make it work. i don't want to serialize this one, but i'll be thinking up something to serialize sooner or later.

Thursday, July 06, 2006


so i was thinking that i really would like to provide a novel online. for free. serialized. i think i'll actually start it as soon as i get a good idea. i came up with a good idea for another story that i'm going to think about more and see what i want to do with it. of course i'm still working on my main novel, which i really should name soon.

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

an aside

iris, no problem. that's why i asked. good luck with everything.

anyway, i didn't write anything last night. for some reason, i've been getting really drowsy at night (i'm usually quite insomniatic) and i've been waking up at around noon, completely tired. that's really screwing up my schedule. my problem still stands, though, about what happens in chapter 5. this is only the tip of the iceberg. i wrote much earlier on that one of my problems would occur around here, and sure enough, it is.

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

it's this evening

and i haven't worked on the novel any more, but i have found 3 leads on jobs! i know, i know, no financial stuff, but now i can get to work on the novel. i'm going to finish chapter 4 tonight and get a bit further in chapter 5. i'm just not sure what happens in the second half of chapter 5. i have 3 characters escaping the law (again) and they're going to need a place for the night. where the hell can they go that will keep interest?

new mediums

christ, i've been so bored lately that i've been posting all this unrelated crap to this site. SO, i decided to create a personal site that details my financial and interpersonal problems in more depth, so i can leave this site for issues that relate to me writing my god damn book.

(which i haven't worked on in 2 days)

i swear i'll work on it this evening.

Monday, July 03, 2006

not my day

i know i shouldn't post personal issues, but this one is interfering with my writing.

today, i was supposed to find a job. suffice it to say, i didn't. didn't even look. how's that for resolve?

right, well i would feel guilty about that, but i was hungry, so i decided to make some stir-fry. as i was stir-frying away, i opened the sauce packet and realized it smelled like lemon ass and i decided not to use it. surely, there would be some soy sauce in the kitchen or something. no. garlic salt, even? no. but i found some regular salt and used it. i tasted it, and it still had no flavor, so i rummaged around a bit more. i found some garlic salt. to make a long story short, most of the garlic salt in the container ended up spilt all over my stir fry.

shit, i said. but it was too late. i mixed it in, and tasted it. it hadn't really changed. hmm, that worked out all right, but i was back to square one.

anyway, i decided to eat it as is. it wasn't so bad.

for dinner, i thought, i would have some potato chips. no, i thought, that's not healthy enough. i'll buy some tomatoes, too. so i walked to the store to buy the potato chips and tomatoes, but first, i stopped at the atm, and suffice it to say, i couldn't get any money out.

so now i'm hungry and i have no money and no job. and the light is still out. and i couldn't buy a lightbulb if i wanted to.

some lyrics of songs that have recently randomly played on my itunes:

"you can rely on the old man's money."
"money don't get everything, it's true. what it don't get, I can't use."
"i've tried all I can to understand all the fools and all their money, when half of what they've got you know they never will use. enough to get by suits me fine."

(i know, more song lyrics, but they were strange coincidences)

to make up for the last few posts

i'm not going to use a song lyric as a title, ha. and i'm not going to post about my personal life. it's like blogs are a disease. anyway, i'm going to post my favorite bit of dialogue from the story so far. the scene takes place in the mental institution i mentioned earlier (sorry about the lack of indentation, blogger makes that sort of hard):

Karl, who had been passed out, lifted his head and opened his eyes. He looked around.
“Not this shit-hole again,” he said.
Ben laughed.
“Yep, same shit-hole,” said Ben.
“Oh, hi,” Karl said to Ben. “You’re, uh—”
“It’s Ben.”
“Right, and should I know her?”
“No, she’s new.”
“Gabby,” she said.
“I’m Ace.”
“Karl,” Ben corrected.
“Right, Karl,” said Karl.
“Karl’s more sane than all of us,” Ben explained to Gabby. “He’s not only sane in this reality, he’s sane in about seven other realities that he keeps switching in and out of.”
“It’s more of a hassle than anything else,” said Karl.
“So where were you?” Ben asked Karl.
“The other State City. The good one.”
“The one where you fight crime.”
“Yeah, that one.”

Sunday, July 02, 2006

some people, they like to go out dancing

and other peoples, they have to work.

i haven't finished my fourth chapter, but i'm almost there. i'm also half-way through the fifth chapter. i've been working all day on them, and i hope to finish them both tomorrow.

reading back on all of my chapters (which i did today because my internet was down and i was bored), i actually enjoyed them. the writing is relatively good and i actually used cliff-hangers, which is a new thing for me.

as for my personal life, i think it's going all right. i've been forced into finding a job tomorrow. i'm on happy pills that don't do very much, but that's okay with me. the only light in my room has been out for over a week and i haven't changed it (so i'm writing in darkness). i've been forcing myself to start eating more than one meal a day, because i don't think it's healthy otherwise (even though my weight hasn't seemed to change). i've quit smoking but i haven't flushed my cig stash and i intend on smoking them eventually (there are a lot). i would go eat right now, but my flat mate is watching tv in the living room/kitchen, and sometimes i get so afraid of uncomfortable human contact that i end up hiding in my room (all summer). that said, i can't seem to stay consistent and nobody would call me anti-social. i'm slowly writing my book and i like where it's going, even if i'm not sure where that is. i really want it behind me. i'm also pretending that i'm still in a foreign country to get out of social engagements. my room has so much trash and dirty laundry around, it looks like new jersey. to be honest, i'm scared as hell to get a job. with my job history, you would be, too. plus, i'll have to shave. i haven't left my flat in 2 days and i've left my room about five times. reading back on this, i live like a lunatic, but i've just recently decided (after careful deliberation) that i'm not crazy. maybe it's the pills, but i think i honestly don't mind how things are going.

so as it stands, i've had a total of one bagel, two glasses of orange juice, and 4 candy bars today and i'm not even anorexic. i'm a pretty unlikely hermit, too.

actually gone quite a distance

looking back on this, i've actually taken it farther than i had expected. it's seen me change directions a few times, but it has also shown my resolve.

in my first post, i said that a good story was more than just interesting characters in interesting settings. i said i would get into that more later.

well here i am. it's later.

good stories need ideas. the themes need to be deep and applicable. that sci fi story i was writing didn't have any of that. it didn't have real emotions. it didn't have us just being here, not knowing what to do.

my new story, as young as it is, is going places, and i'd like to think that i will keep it up and turn it into something i can be proud of.

i haven't logged traffic to this site, but i have to guess that almost nobody is reading it. that's okay with me. i never wanted this to be "public". from the start; it was clear it was just for me.

that said, i like to get attention, so it's been difficult to accept that i need to keep things private. (so that's why i've decided to take this summer away from my life.) if it had been a while ago, i would have been posting my work in progress as it was being created. maybe the world is getting to me, but thoughts of getting published and making enough money to get by have forced me to play by the rules. and that pisses me off. i'm one of those people who hates rules and authority yet stays in check out of fear.

anyway, after reading through some of the early posts here (i posted more pictures back then), i went and read my old blog that i mentioned in my first post. my casual writing has improved, which is good to know. in my old blog, i had linked to a blog about a girl in new york, i think, who doesn't know just how sane she is, living in an insane world. she writes about her very human emotions, not really understanding that she's not alone. sure, i could take this time to psychoanalyze her, but she's such a good character, i'd rather put her in my story. she's such a good character, though, and a real person, at that, that i don't want to do that without her permission. so, iris, if you want, i would like to use a character based on you. i don't need to, but i feel it would add something to my story, just as you add something to being in the real world. don't post any links to this blog, since i'm not looking for advertisement.

as i've said before, i do use characters that are based on real people, and i do it without their permission, because i just don't care and most people need to be turned into caricatures to exploit what's wrong with everything, but in this case, there's nothing wrong and i do care.

christ, see, this is why i don't want an audience. the tone and everything of this post is completely different than my other posts with the expectation of any sort of audience.

i'll be back to the grind.

don't mind nothing if i know

i'm back and i'm not quite on track. i've been falling asleep too early to write. this will change. i intend to get writing soon, but i have been furiously thinking about aspects of my story; where it is and where it's going.

and i'm happy with how it's working out.

before, i was feeling that it was too simplistic, but since last night's brainstorming, i've come up with a way to make it as complicated as anything else.

before, as a matter of coincidence, i had a couple of the characters stop in a mental institution. originally, i wasn't sure what they would do during their short stay, but once i figured it out, i decided i would link a few different characters' psychoses to a singular reality. that might sound confusing, and that might be the end result. anyway, i'm happy with it.

i promise i'll write soon