Sunday, July 02, 2006

actually gone quite a distance

looking back on this, i've actually taken it farther than i had expected. it's seen me change directions a few times, but it has also shown my resolve.

in my first post, i said that a good story was more than just interesting characters in interesting settings. i said i would get into that more later.

well here i am. it's later.

good stories need ideas. the themes need to be deep and applicable. that sci fi story i was writing didn't have any of that. it didn't have real emotions. it didn't have us just being here, not knowing what to do.

my new story, as young as it is, is going places, and i'd like to think that i will keep it up and turn it into something i can be proud of.

i haven't logged traffic to this site, but i have to guess that almost nobody is reading it. that's okay with me. i never wanted this to be "public". from the start; it was clear it was just for me.

that said, i like to get attention, so it's been difficult to accept that i need to keep things private. (so that's why i've decided to take this summer away from my life.) if it had been a while ago, i would have been posting my work in progress as it was being created. maybe the world is getting to me, but thoughts of getting published and making enough money to get by have forced me to play by the rules. and that pisses me off. i'm one of those people who hates rules and authority yet stays in check out of fear.

anyway, after reading through some of the early posts here (i posted more pictures back then), i went and read my old blog that i mentioned in my first post. my casual writing has improved, which is good to know. in my old blog, i had linked to a blog about a girl in new york, i think, who doesn't know just how sane she is, living in an insane world. she writes about her very human emotions, not really understanding that she's not alone. sure, i could take this time to psychoanalyze her, but she's such a good character, i'd rather put her in my story. she's such a good character, though, and a real person, at that, that i don't want to do that without her permission. so, iris, if you want, i would like to use a character based on you. i don't need to, but i feel it would add something to my story, just as you add something to being in the real world. don't post any links to this blog, since i'm not looking for advertisement.

as i've said before, i do use characters that are based on real people, and i do it without their permission, because i just don't care and most people need to be turned into caricatures to exploit what's wrong with everything, but in this case, there's nothing wrong and i do care.

christ, see, this is why i don't want an audience. the tone and everything of this post is completely different than my other posts with the expectation of any sort of audience.

i'll be back to the grind.


Blogger Iris said...

I was directed to this.

I am flattered that you find me interesting enough to write about.

But please, I ask you kindly not to make my life or the things I share into a fictional character. I would feel very violated if you did. I realize it's a free country and I put my feelings out there on the internet. I have no copyright to my emotions or my life. I just never imagined that someone would consider doing that. I would prefer if you didn't....please?

Thanks, and thanks for caring enough to read my diary in the first place. I hope I didn't come off as rude.

7:28 AM  

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