Sunday, July 02, 2006

some people, they like to go out dancing

and other peoples, they have to work.

i haven't finished my fourth chapter, but i'm almost there. i'm also half-way through the fifth chapter. i've been working all day on them, and i hope to finish them both tomorrow.

reading back on all of my chapters (which i did today because my internet was down and i was bored), i actually enjoyed them. the writing is relatively good and i actually used cliff-hangers, which is a new thing for me.

as for my personal life, i think it's going all right. i've been forced into finding a job tomorrow. i'm on happy pills that don't do very much, but that's okay with me. the only light in my room has been out for over a week and i haven't changed it (so i'm writing in darkness). i've been forcing myself to start eating more than one meal a day, because i don't think it's healthy otherwise (even though my weight hasn't seemed to change). i've quit smoking but i haven't flushed my cig stash and i intend on smoking them eventually (there are a lot). i would go eat right now, but my flat mate is watching tv in the living room/kitchen, and sometimes i get so afraid of uncomfortable human contact that i end up hiding in my room (all summer). that said, i can't seem to stay consistent and nobody would call me anti-social. i'm slowly writing my book and i like where it's going, even if i'm not sure where that is. i really want it behind me. i'm also pretending that i'm still in a foreign country to get out of social engagements. my room has so much trash and dirty laundry around, it looks like new jersey. to be honest, i'm scared as hell to get a job. with my job history, you would be, too. plus, i'll have to shave. i haven't left my flat in 2 days and i've left my room about five times. reading back on this, i live like a lunatic, but i've just recently decided (after careful deliberation) that i'm not crazy. maybe it's the pills, but i think i honestly don't mind how things are going.

so as it stands, i've had a total of one bagel, two glasses of orange juice, and 4 candy bars today and i'm not even anorexic. i'm a pretty unlikely hermit, too.

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