unifying theories

only one word to describe the name of my new story

2006-08-04T20:37:00.000Z

∃

writing forums

2006-07-11T20:16:00.000Z

oh my.

every single topic has been made before, and all the new topics consist of every single member repeating what the people before them had said. it's like a circle jerk for people who appreciate decorative soaps and porcelain figurines.

and these members are sooooo dull. if i were forced to read a book written by a contributor to absolute write, i would fashion pointed spikes out of the rolled-up pages and stab them into my eyes.

no, but really, some of them have written books. here's a finely titled one: "the pacific between" by some jackass. as soon as i saw that, i wanted to write a book called "the qualifier after; an odyssey into boring, cliched writing."

i said something harmless recently on absolute write. i implied that everyone on the board wrote fantasy stories. someone called that a "tad impolite." i wrote back, "well i'm quite sorry if i hurt your feelings," and guess what? the idiot didn't realize i was being sardonic! "no hard feelings" was the general response i got.

no, no, no. i meant for the hard feelings to get personal. i was insulting you for being a thin-skinned pussy of a human being. not only did i insult you for writing about dragons and fairies, i showed how sad it was to care about being insulted.

i thought of explaining this on the board, but i decided to post here, instead.

my new idea

2006-07-07T12:09:00.000Z

...is really good.

i don't want to give anything away, but i had a basic concept that i just stumbled upon yesterday, but then i realized there were too many problems with it. then, as i tossed and turned last night, i figured out how to make it work. i don't want to serialize this one, but i'll be thinking up something to serialize sooner or later.

serials

2006-07-06T21:04:00.000Z

so i was thinking that i really would like to provide a novel online. for free. serialized. i think i'll actually start it as soon as i get a good idea. i came up with a good idea for another story that i'm going to think about more and see what i want to do with it. of course i'm still working on my main novel, which i really should name soon.

an aside

2006-07-05T10:57:00.000Z

iris, no problem. that's why i asked. good luck with everything.

anyway, i didn't write anything last night. for some reason, i've been getting really drowsy at night (i'm usually quite insomniatic) and i've been waking up at around noon, completely tired. that's really screwing up my schedule. my problem still stands, though, about what happens in chapter 5. this is only the tip of the iceberg. i wrote much earlier on that one of my problems would occur around here, and sure enough, it is.

it's this evening

2006-07-04T20:54:00.000Z

and i haven't worked on the novel any more, but i have found 3 leads on jobs! i know, i know, no financial stuff, but now i can get to work on the novel. i'm going to finish chapter 4 tonight and get a bit further in chapter 5. i'm just not sure what happens in the second half of chapter 5. i have 3 characters escaping the law (again) and they're going to need a place for the night. where the hell can they go that will keep interest?

new mediums

2006-07-04T16:30:00.000Z

christ, i've been so bored lately that i've been posting all this unrelated crap to this site. SO, i decided to create a personal site that details my financial and interpersonal problems in more depth, so i can leave this site for issues that relate to me writing my god damn book.

(which i haven't worked on in 2 days)

i swear i'll work on it this evening.

not my day

2006-07-03T15:33:00.000Z

i know i shouldn't post personal issues, but this one is interfering with my writing.

today, i was supposed to find a job. suffice it to say, i didn't. didn't even look. how's that for resolve?

right, well i would feel guilty about that, but i was hungry, so i decided to make some stir-fry. as i was stir-frying away, i opened the sauce packet and realized it smelled like lemon ass and i decided not to use it. surely, there would be some soy sauce in the kitchen or something. no. garlic salt, even? no. but i found some regular salt and used it. i tasted it, and it still had no flavor, so i rummaged around a bit more. i found some garlic salt. to make a long story short, most of the garlic salt in the container ended up spilt all over my stir fry.

shit, i said. but it was too late. i mixed it in, and tasted it. it hadn't really changed. hmm, that worked out all right, but i was back to square one.

anyway, i decided to eat it as is. it wasn't so bad.

for dinner, i thought, i would have some potato chips. no, i thought, that's not healthy enough. i'll buy some tomatoes, too. so i walked to the store to buy the potato chips and tomatoes, but first, i stopped at the atm, and suffice it to say, i couldn't get any money out.

so now i'm hungry and i have no money and no job. and the light is still out. and i couldn't buy a lightbulb if i wanted to.

some lyrics of songs that have recently randomly played on my itunes:

"you can rely on the old man's money."
"money don't get everything, it's true. what it don't get, I can't use."
"i've tried all I can to understand all the fools and all their money, when half of what they've got you know they never will use. enough to get by suits me fine."

(i know, more song lyrics, but they were strange coincidences)

to make up for the last few posts

2006-07-03T10:57:00.000Z

i'm not going to use a song lyric as a title, ha. and i'm not going to post about my personal life. it's like blogs are a disease. anyway, i'm going to post my favorite bit of dialogue from the story so far. the scene takes place in the mental institution i mentioned earlier (sorry about the lack of indentation, blogger makes that sort of hard):

Karl, who had been passed out, lifted his head and opened his eyes. He looked around.
“Not this shit-hole again,” he said.
Ben laughed.
“Yep, same shit-hole,” said Ben.
“Oh, hi,” Karl said to Ben. “You’re, uh—”
“It’s Ben.”
“Right, and should I know her?”
“No, she’s new.”
“Gabby,” she said.
“I’m Ace.”
“Karl,” Ben corrected.
“Right, Karl,” said Karl.
“Karl’s more sane than all of us,” Ben explained to Gabby. “He’s not only sane in this reality, he’s sane in about seven other realities that he keeps switching in and out of.”
“It’s more of a hassle than anything else,” said Karl.
“So where were you?” Ben asked Karl.
“The other State City. The good one.”
“The one where you fight crime.”
“Yeah, that one.”

some people, they like to go out dancing

2006-07-02T20:42:00.000Z

and other peoples, they have to work.

i haven't finished my fourth chapter, but i'm almost there. i'm also half-way through the fifth chapter. i've been working all day on them, and i hope to finish them both tomorrow.

reading back on all of my chapters (which i did today because my internet was down and i was bored), i actually enjoyed them. the writing is relatively good and i actually used cliff-hangers, which is a new thing for me.

as for my personal life, i think it's going all right. i've been forced into finding a job tomorrow. i'm on happy pills that don't do very much, but that's okay with me. the only light in my room has been out for over a week and i haven't changed it (so i'm writing in darkness). i've been forcing myself to start eating more than one meal a day, because i don't think it's healthy otherwise (even though my weight hasn't seemed to change). i've quit smoking but i haven't flushed my cig stash and i intend on smoking them eventually (there are a lot). i would go eat right now, but my flat mate is watching tv in the living room/kitchen, and sometimes i get so afraid of uncomfortable human contact that i end up hiding in my room (all summer). that said, i can't seem to stay consistent and nobody would call me anti-social. i'm slowly writing my book and i like where it's going, even if i'm not sure where that is. i really want it behind me. i'm also pretending that i'm still in a foreign country to get out of social engagements. my room has so much trash and dirty laundry around, it looks like new jersey. to be honest, i'm scared as hell to get a job. with my job history, you would be, too. plus, i'll have to shave. i haven't left my flat in 2 days and i've left my room about five times. reading back on this, i live like a lunatic, but i've just recently decided (after careful deliberation) that i'm not crazy. maybe it's the pills, but i think i honestly don't mind how things are going.

so as it stands, i've had a total of one bagel, two glasses of orange juice, and 4 candy bars today and i'm not even anorexic. i'm a pretty unlikely hermit, too.

actually gone quite a distance

2006-07-02T09:18:00.000Z

looking back on this, i've actually taken it farther than i had expected. it's seen me change directions a few times, but it has also shown my resolve.

in my first post, i said that a good story was more than just interesting characters in interesting settings. i said i would get into that more later.

well here i am. it's later.

good stories need ideas. the themes need to be deep and applicable. that sci fi story i was writing didn't have any of that. it didn't have real emotions. it didn't have us just being here, not knowing what to do.

my new story, as young as it is, is going places, and i'd like to think that i will keep it up and turn it into something i can be proud of.

i haven't logged traffic to this site, but i have to guess that almost nobody is reading it. that's okay with me. i never wanted this to be "public". from the start; it was clear it was just for me.

that said, i like to get attention, so it's been difficult to accept that i need to keep things private. (so that's why i've decided to take this summer away from my life.) if it had been a while ago, i would have been posting my work in progress as it was being created. maybe the world is getting to me, but thoughts of getting published and making enough money to get by have forced me to play by the rules. and that pisses me off. i'm one of those people who hates rules and authority yet stays in check out of fear.

anyway, after reading through some of the early posts here (i posted more pictures back then), i went and read my old blog that i mentioned in my first post. my casual writing has improved, which is good to know. in my old blog, i had linked to a blog about a girl in new york, i think, who doesn't know just how sane she is, living in an insane world. she writes about her very human emotions, not really understanding that she's not alone. sure, i could take this time to psychoanalyze her, but she's such a good character, i'd rather put her in my story. she's such a good character, though, and a real person, at that, that i don't want to do that without her permission. so, iris, if you want, i would like to use a character based on you. i don't need to, but i feel it would add something to my story, just as you add something to being in the real world. don't post any links to this blog, since i'm not looking for advertisement.

as i've said before, i do use characters that are based on real people, and i do it without their permission, because i just don't care and most people need to be turned into caricatures to exploit what's wrong with everything, but in this case, there's nothing wrong and i do care.

christ, see, this is why i don't want an audience. the tone and everything of this post is completely different than my other posts with the expectation of any sort of audience.

i'll be back to the grind.

don't mind nothing if i know

2006-07-02T09:01:00.000Z

i'm back and i'm not quite on track. i've been falling asleep too early to write. this will change. i intend to get writing soon, but i have been furiously thinking about aspects of my story; where it is and where it's going.

and i'm happy with how it's working out.

before, i was feeling that it was too simplistic, but since last night's brainstorming, i've come up with a way to make it as complicated as anything else.

before, as a matter of coincidence, i had a couple of the characters stop in a mental institution. originally, i wasn't sure what they would do during their short stay, but once i figured it out, i decided i would link a few different characters' psychoses to a singular reality. that might sound confusing, and that might be the end result. anyway, i'm happy with it.

i promise i'll write soon

back and about to leave

2006-06-20T13:18:00.000Z

i haven't posted in a couple days because my new neighbor broke my internet. yay! new neighbor!

anyway, i got it working again. i'm now onto my fourth chapter. can you believe it? i figure i only need about 60 more to get into the right word count for novels.

on that overwhelming note, i decided to start a tiny little side project, which is a writing wiki. if you don't know what a wiki is, you can look it up on wikipedia.

so this writing wiki is more dead than this site, but it has a good url, so if people stumble upon it and decide to add to it, it might take off. i'm not going to worry too much about it.

here it is: write

(and if you dig around a bit in it, you're bound to find what i had written for that sci-fi story i had talked about earlier)

oh, and about leaving, this weekened i'm going to be leaving the country to explore europe. i decided it would be good to get out of the flat for a bit, so i only got a one-way ticket.

an (old) idea

2006-06-17T13:12:00.000Z

i wrote a post describing how i was going to serialize an old story i had gotten quite far with, but then i found out i had already posted it all online. what forethought!

anyway, i don't want to link to it, but if you use msn search, it might show up if you type in "lukewarm illegality" (with quotation marks). for some reason, i've been blacklisted from google and yahoo, even though it used to be the other way around.

chapter 3 has been started, and i hope to finish it tonight.

2

2006-06-17T00:08:00.000Z

by the look of my last two posts, it may have seemed like i was never going to actually sit down and write, but here i am, two chapters written, and i'm feeling good.

i've come to the conclusion, however, that my story has absolutely jack-shit nothing to do with the over-arching concept of jesus and whatnot. this doesn't worry me, though, as i see it as a way to really spring all that crazy crap on an unsuspecting reader.

there are drunk idiots yelling at cars outside my window. in front of the window stands my sprite "zero" that i accidently bought. but i don't care! it's a joyous time. i've officially gotten in the swing of this novel.

now i'm going to try to sleep, so i do sort of want the drunk people to go home.

too many characters

2006-06-16T21:06:00.000Z

most people follow a certain set of behavior practices and themes. a big one of these is the aversion to dealing with strangers. you get on a bus. the bus is empty except for the driver and one passenger. do you walk over and sit with the one other passenger? of course not.

so when i get my laundry delivered and ask the guy how he's doing, i only want to hear "good, thanks," or "good, you?" but i'll accept what he said to me, which was, "nackered." okay. cool. i laughed politely.

"okay, thanks very much," i said.
"just plain nackered," he said.
"well, good luck."
"and i've got a long night ahead of me, too."
"okay," shutting the door. "bye..."

i know, i know, we're all lonely, and i was being heartless, but first off, my dealings with the overly tattooed guy who delivers my laundry probably won't develop into friendship, and secondly, i can't really understand people here when they talk, so it's hard for me to make small talk with them. getting in a cab is the worst thing ever.

"rymay, warewetayk'nya?" [all right, mate, where are we taking you?]
"to the health clinic"
"zrethialry" [all right]
"it's just a check-up, nothing pressing. don't worry."
"nomay, iwajussayin itsahry" [no, mate, i was just saying it's all right]
"oh sorry, heh,"
"busgudtana yuralry" [but it's good to know you're all right]
"thanks."

that was a few days ago. and that's someone who had english as their first and only language.

and so my story, as it's chugging along (pretty well, i might add) has a multitude of characters i created without any clear relevence to the story who are just waiting to debut. i'm thinking a lot of them won't, though, or at least not for a long time. there's just not enough glue to hold them all together and i don't want to sacrifice them to guest-stardom.

"urban" sort of sounds like "holden"

2006-06-16T13:00:00.000Z

aside from deciding to write a chapter every two days from now on (yeah, i know) i've been working feverishly on making the beginning of my story unlike the catcher in the rye.

first of all, i dislike the catcher in the rye, so if i see any similarity, it is disparaging. secondly, any stories using elements such as, say, a young man, an introvert, or a city are immediately compared to holden's pointless adventure.

right now my feelings are that only the start of the second chapter will be reminiscent of salinger, so i'm okay.

starting the second chapter

2006-06-15T14:38:00.000Z

i finally got a good start on my second chapter. so far, it's just describing a lot of State City, which has been featured in a few of my earlier stories. it's a mix of new york city, tokyo, gotham, blade runner's los angeles, and a few ideas of my own.

i've also worked out the basic idea of chapter three.

anecdote

2006-06-15T00:18:00.000Z

to make my posts more interesting, i've decided to stop posting the random pathetic drivel i've been reduced to lately and be more specific in the writing process.

a couple days ago, my father asked the all-too familiar question of what i was making of my life. i told him i was writing.

"hey, i think that's great," he said, "but writers need to do things in their lives to write about. they write about the things that happen to them."

"so dad, dostoevsky killed people? jules verne had a time machine? bradbury lived in the future?"

"yeah, but hemingway-"

"i don't like hemingway."

i don't know. maybe i'm stubborn, but it was a stupid thing for him to say. if he'd said, you're a bad writer, i would have said, fair dues, i'll get a job.

anyway, i do often write about things that have happened to me. urban, the main character, had a brother who died in a war. the circumstances of this are that his unit was firing on an enemy unit, but it turned out that the enemy unit was a british unit. the mistake was figured out eventually, but not before a british machine-gunner killed urban's brother.

i haven't actually killed anybody or been killed, but i was in a bar once. this was in the most backward part of the united kingdom. i forget the circumstance, but i was standing near this big guy who was looking at me funny, so i decided to make small talk. i don't know what i said, but this is what i got in response:

"you're an american," he accused.

oh, shit.

"we're not all the same," i nervously laughed.

"americans tried to kill me," he snarled.

"oh really?" i'm going to die.

"when i was in iraq, those idiots mistook us for the enemy and opened fire. i'm lucky to be alive."

"well, i'm sorry on behalf of my fellow americans," i said.

by the end of it, we were good drunken pals, and i wasn't killed in retribution.

losing faith

2006-06-14T15:48:00.000Z

i'm having a lot of issues with this story. i have ideas and plots, but i can't get any of it down on paper.

problems:
-i'm not sure how i want things to work when christ shows up.
-i'm not sure what i want my main character to do.
-i'm not sure how my characters meet.

my first idea was to have them meet up coincidentally, but then i figured i didn't need to have them meet up and just write chapters about each individually.

now i think i need to expand urban's role.

by the way, i changed his name to urban rurik, i think, but i don't put people's last names in unless necessary.

one more thing

2006-06-12T16:59:00.000Z

one more thing i'm thinking about instead of writing:

-how i have one singular white hair sprouting from my chin

example:

sorting things out

2006-06-12T16:52:00.000Z

the reason i haven't been writing a whole lot in the past couple days was because i was stuck. usually, that would be the time i give up and try to start something new. the thought crossed my mind this time,

but,

i've come up with good groundwork that will propel me to work past these problems. good characters, good story, decent theme, etc. (actually, that's about it)

my problems are everywhere in between. i can't seem to get my characters to meet. i designed them to be all over the world, and they tend to have no reason to go anywhere else.

i've worked through a few problems through a listing technique. i write the problem i'm having and then list all of the solutions that pop in my head. i'm going to have to do this a lot more.

still going strong on this one

hell is other writers

2006-06-11T15:47:00.000Z

okay, so i haven't been writing very much for the past couple days, and in that time, to make myself feel better, i've tried to seek out communities of writers. i've found a few.

Absolute Write

Writing Forums

okay, so only a couple. these two are the probably the biggest, most active forums for writers. and not only that, they suck.

everyone takes it so seriously and there's no real community. that's because there's something inherently wrong with writers' brains.

so i'm going to go back to writing.

P.S. sorry for the last post. and this one.

edit: by suck, no real community, and something wrong with their brains, i really meant that it isn't what i'm looking for. i'll give them another chance, since i can't bring myself to write anything.

things i'm thinking about instead of writing

2006-06-11T12:24:00.000Z

-how i bought "Sprite Z" instead of normal sprite by accident

-how i have to get a blood test on tuesday

-whether i should try to make a gin or vodka martini

-that damn sprite

-whether john lennon wrote better songs when he was in the beatles or after

-i mean, after the beatles, you're hard-pressed to find a song without the word "yoko" in it

-oh yoko, standing on a corner just me and yoko ono, everybody's talking about john and yoko, hold on yoko, aisumasen yoko, dear yoko, happy christmas kyoko (it counts)

-what the songs would sound like if yoko was replaced with cynthia (lennon's first wife)

-whether to eat my stir-fry noodles today

-whether i could pull off putting the word "yoko" into my everyday speech.

-'yeah, i'm just going to eat my yoko noodles. they're pretty much like regular noodles but with the word "yoko" in front'

-maybe i could turn it into some sort of cockney rhyming scheme.

-anyone up for a mug of hot yoko? it's on the yoko ono of 5th and madison

-my toes look stupid

overall

2006-06-10T16:34:00.000Z

i'd have to say that things are going well. i've hit a little problem, but i actually feel like i can work through it.

i'm only four pages into it, but that's a good sign. i figure if i write much faster, i'm not thinking things through. keep in mind my outline is less than a page long. i'm coming up with the guts on the spot.

the next step is some more brainstorming. i have a good start, but it's sort of faltering.

i need to pick it up

recap

2006-06-08T20:00:00.000Z

i've just read some of my old posts, and it turns out i've been trying cover my tracks after detailing the situations i was trying to hide. i'm forgetful like that.

so we know that genre i was talking about is christian apocalyptic fiction. to be clear, this will not be the end of the story. i have one trick up my sleeve (which i hope i haven't revealed already).

i'm not going to mock anything. there's enough of that in the real world. this will be a serious sort of thing without my social commentary. as i've said, religion will not be a theme.

there you have it

i've just done better

2006-06-08T19:29:00.000Z

i restarted my story and it's a lot better.

problems still persist.

most of these problems won't hit until part 2. so fuck them!

well anyway, i've been researching my genre. i learned something new, today. it exists. in fact, it's blossoming. that sucks for me, because i'm now "on the bandwagon".

i hope to debase it, though.

still, it was disheartening to see that general idea had been played out so many times before. that said, i am taking a different approach to it. so if my story won't be so revolutionary in concept, it can be in other ways. from the beginning, i was planning on having all these idiotic plot transitions occur in very serious tones to poke fun at our constructs. the established genre just furthers this cause.

more to break.

some things never change

2006-06-07T23:45:00.000Z

i've started writing the first part. it's not very compelling, but i hope to do better.

routines without routines

2006-06-06T20:04:00.000Z

i've sort of been doing all these things, but from now on, i'm going to seriously do them.

letters - describing the good and the bad and keeping things in perspective.

progress log - every day, an entry will be made, even if it says "slept all day, did nothing"

project bible (not original) - will detail all characters, events, facts, terms, etc.

all that said, i'm still not going to follow all the crazy crap writers tell you to do.

tuesday's on the phone to me

2006-06-06T02:10:00.000Z

is it a cop-out to make my character character-less?

one of the ideas i worked out was to make Urban a sort of cold-hearted no-nonsense sort of non-person. the demeaner of an assassin (not the one from the professional). he has no dependencies and doesn't want any.

is this as lame as it sounds to me? i'm running out of options. i want to make my characters different. usually, i just peice together bits of my own personality with bits that i'd like to have in my personality. i'm not going to do that this time.

if only i weren't so damn multi-facetted. it's as if my perfection is my undoing.

the reason why i post this stuff publically is that it gets me to think. while writing this, i've gone through many more ideas than i had thought of in the 2 days i was thinking about it.

i think urban could be a celebrity. an actor. a musician.

we'll see how this works out in an outline.

i'm very sorry

2006-06-05T13:54:00.000Z

but i'm going to talk a little bit about politics and religion as my subconscious considers what my MC's personality will be like.

a lot of people really like 1984. i do not. it's unplausible and poorly written, like all orwell stuff.

then we have bush's second term and orwell is left with only one fault. how dare bush make orwell's stuff better!

i'm so fucking tired of politics, that i don't give too shits if bush decided to attack iraq, iran, canada, ohio, whatever. he can make stupid the new smart. i won't care.

but when he subverts our basic freedoms, he's gone too far. he just explained that he needs to outlaw gays* "because activist courts have left our nation with no other choice."

(*it's easier just to say this)

no other choice. i don't know if that was a line from 1984, but if orwell was a good writer, it should have been. that's what i think of when i think of a police state. crime is too prevalent, we need to put everyone in prison. we have no other choice.

then we have the whole "nation" thing. america is not a nation. it is a state. white europeans are a nation. native americans are a nation. africans are a nation. america, if it had to be described as a nation, would be a conglomeration of every nation. we're all represented in the nation of america. there is no common descent. we are gay. we are straight. we are black. we are white. we are muslim. we are christian. we are everything and everything in between.

bush is confusing his nation of white, christian, old money, "straight" people with the state he's supposed to be running. or maybe he's not confusing anything. maybe he's dead-on. his nation of christian retards would be opposed to ACTIVIST courts. on that note, he also demonized activism. that's great. if there was a presidential election right now between bush and big brother, i would not only vote big brother, but i'd put one of those signs up for him on my lawn. i'd put a big brother bumpersticker on my car.

people are so willing to let it all go, though, so when you get something as absurd as this, people will think, well, he's not a democrat, he has to be right. as someone who is not a democrat, please, people, don't let this happen to america. america was such a good idea! but in every generation, a group of idiots (surprising number of christians) has to try and ruin everything. our founding fathers were not christians, keep that in mind. they thought christianity was for stupid people. it was not the concept of america. if any religion was, it was deism. there's no passage in the non-existent deist bible that says gays or blacks or jews or anybody isn't as good as everybody else.

i'll tell all you american people right now, party politics and religion will be the death of you. if we resurrected all the founding fathers, gave them guns, and put them in a room with the administration and congress, or let them at fox news or john kerry or whatever side you're on, the founding fathers would all commit suicide. it's too late. they've won. abbie hoffman was absolutely right. i'm just glad he didn't have to see just how bad it got.

it's scary.

back to writing, i'd like to take this time to admit that my novel will be horribly anti-religious. i'm going to write religious people as they are. murderous, idiotic, and blind. i think so little of these religious retards that i won't even make their stupidity my theme. it's just a given.

i'm not an athiest, but if i have to choose between a god that's as big an asshole as yours is or none at all, i'd choose none.

your christian, jewish, muslim, et al gods, they're all dicks. not only do they come across as less than omniscient, they come across as less than intelligent. they're petty, violent liars.

i know that a lot of religious people are good, but they are either consciously or subconsciously blanking most of the bible and history of their religion out of their mind. it doesn't agree with a life of goodness.

but you christian folks can sleep at night because my novel will say you're all absolutely right. jesus really is god, his son, his mother, his dog-walker, whatever the hell you believe in. i'll say you're absolutely right.

that's when the fun starts.

if all this sounds like a big attack on your beliefs, forget it. go back to church and get your two minutes hate in.

as of this moment

2006-06-04T20:50:00.000Z

i have 5 characters under my belt. i can write these characters. i even like some of them.

3 of them are based on real people.

1 of them is based on a historical figure

2 of them are people from my life

1 of them is someone i haven't said more than a sentence to. expect this character to speak as much.

okay, so i know i'm not letting much information out about anything, but i have three reasons.

1. publishing issues and dispersal of information
2. it's going to be a surprise! to you! maybe!
3. i'll get discouraged if i put it in audience-voice too early

okay, let me go over THAT, now. first, i don't want you piranhas stealing all my ideas because hell knows i would. secondly, i might decide to publish my chapters in serial form. this is a big maybe, so don't get your non-existent hopes up. thirdly, i write notes and stuff to myself in forms that i'd be embarrassed if others read. even when i write my less-than-inspired posts here, they are designed for an audience, no matter how not real that audience may be. that's why i post here. so i can get that voice and that manner of thinking.

let's take it from the top, then. 5 characters, right? right, but not one of those bares the name Urban Sinclair. i have a list of names. under each name is a list of personal attributes. the five are all comprehensive, but Urban is still a nothing. i've had ideas, but i ruined them by giving them to other characters. i'm glad i did this, in retrospect, as i want to create an original character for Urban.

still, who the hell is Urban?

i've been writing for a while now, and i still don't have any specific characters. i want a character that can be reused. i want something distinct.

it will come

almost to the starting line

2006-06-04T13:46:00.000Z

my last few posts haven't had much substance, so i thought i would go into a bit more detail, which will hopefully clear things up for me.

my new story is, as i've said, a development on an old idea of mine. this old idea was to write about the second coming. yep, jesus coming down and judging all of us.

jesus was going to come down and do pretty much what it said he was going to do in the bible. (except for the stuff he lied about, like it happening in the apostles' lifetimes.)

when i originally thought about it, i wasn't sure how to frame a more specific, character-driven story within the overarching concept.

when i think back on it, i probably could have just let things roll, but it would take a lot of research into all the passages of the bible. i know, the bible isn't all that long, but it's such a horrible read. when i read bits of it, all i hear is, "this is the dumbest shit in the world and so many people believe it!" it's basically how i feel about the da vinci code.

to be honest, i was originally willing to do some research, but, if any of you would like to look into it, all of the passages contradict each other. that's why nobody really talks about it. (except fundamental US protestants, but they're crazy. they thrive in contradiction. and urine.)

so now, instead of framing character whatnot in the whatsit, i've taken a shortcut. i'm not going to divulge everything, but it involves most of the concepts i've thought about from the start of this record. jesus is not an alien, but the idea was toyed with.

yet, after all that, i still need the character frame thingy. i've been looking for a start, but after that, i have, what might just be, a very brief, simple outline. that, ladies and gentlemen, is a first.

i'm thinking of a completely inconsequential beginning plot that sets the tone for me to destroy. twice.

it's going to establish a character or two, put them in a nasty bind, and let my natural deus ex machina run wild.

it's just like the bible. sure, jesus will save you, but after that, you're heading right for a sea of fire. unless you don't believe in that bit.

"Urban Sinclair stars, with guest appearances by Jesus THE Christ, a space station, the author, and many other favorites!"

change of pace

2006-06-03T13:04:00.000Z

i know it might look as if i've had an idea milling around if you've been looking at the last few posts, and you'd be right, but i've just changed my mind.

i was thinking, yesterday, that i not only didn't love my story idea, i didn't even like it. so i'm on a new track.

this new one is a development on a previous idea. i still don't have an end worked out, but i have a good middle. i think i could love this story.

it has every element i could possibly hope for, and it's delightfully absurd. i'm just going to brainstorm characters and specifics.

unusable dialogue

2006-06-01T14:59:00.000Z

i try not to date my work, so when i came up with the following, i had to promptly throw it out. don't worry, i haven't started yet, i just came up with it to provide some characterization.

“What the hell is your problem?”
“You should be asking about your problem,” she said.
“Okay, then, what’s my problem?”
“What year is it?” she asked.
He hesitated.
“2007”
“No, it’s not,” she said. “It’s still 2006, and that’s just the tip of the iceberg. Do you want me to go on?”
“No.”

i think i'm on the verge of a breakthrough, though. i've been analyzing what i want out of this story and how to go about it, and i've found out what i've been doing wrong. my characters don't want to do anything. i could blame this on my skills as a writer, but i really have to chalk this one up to my personality. i don't want to do anything. i do sort of want to write a book, but it would be quite a dull novel if it chronicled that.

I wrote out the following:

Possible goals:
Create
Find
Save
Hate
Protect
Escape

So my character will have to do at least one of those. that will be his motivation.

my two struggles

2006-05-30T12:57:00.000Z

(and neither of them are ethnic groups)

anyway, the first struggle is my work area. my chair sucks and i can't write from bed. i have no money, so buying a new chair is not really possible. this might not sound like much to you, but my creative focus is very weak and anything can throw it off.

the second struggle is working out plots. i can come up with oodles of situations, but no real middle or end. this isn't true, i can come up with the other bits, but they come out really hackneyed.

i'll give you an example: here's what i worked up for the introductory plot for my latest story.

"Administration begins investigation into member of Temerity to the point that they suspend him and are threatening to expel him if he doesn’t reveal cohorts. Temerity staff begin counter campaign. Ends with media outcry that fixes everything."

wow, i can't use any of that. so what am i going to do? well, i've started coming up with other ideas.

i'm up a certain type of creek now (not of the hygenic variety), so i'm going to go out and find something to eat for lunch.

dear writer,

2006-05-29T16:36:00.000Z

I have been busy gathering ideas to make your story stick out from others. I think the easiest thing to do would be to vary the styles of the chapters. Obviously, changes in perspective have been explored to death, but what if you took it a step further? Change the genre. Have a chapter in stream of consciousness style. Have a chapter devoted to the main character doing laundry. Have a chapter in playwriting. Leave a chapter in its outline form. Throw in a chapter from a different story. Take risks.

Yours truly,

The Writer

getting a hold

2006-05-29T12:25:00.000Z

as you've probably established, the last two posts have been letters to myself. i had heard somewhere that it's helpful to do this to establish an outline.

i'm no good at outlines, so i figured i would try this out. it seems to be working, and i'm figuring out more and more things that i want to write about.

i'll keep posting them.

form letters

2006-05-29T12:24:00.000Z

Dear Writer,

As per your request, I have compiled as much information as I could about the publication, Temerity, without actually attaching past copies. Temerity is an unauthorized single page monthly paper that is distributed via a network of supporters. Its contents are defamation at worst and antiauthoritarian propaganda at best. Its manifesto (included on each copy) states, “Distributed for the upheaval of assumptions. As long as we are fair game, everything else is.” Its main features are straightforward. There are varying columns cropping up here and there, but nothing is very continuous. It has been known to reveal confidential or private information pertaining to professors, administrators, and students. As such, it is much loved or hated by the student body. The School Newspaper often addresses articles from Temerity in its editorials.

Yours truly,

The Writer

here it is

2006-05-28T20:45:00.000Z

Dear Writer,

As per your request, I have looked into information pertaining to Urban Sinclair. He is a junior studying journalism. His grades have been relatively good. He had been the “star” writer of The School Newspaper of The University until he quit last year. Information detailing why, exactly, he quit, has proven difficult to obtain. He is frequently at the Buy American Restrictions Bar where he meets and organizes with contributors to the controversial publication, “Temerity”. He is said to be one of the main editors, but the paper only publishes articles under pseudonyms. His personal relationships are not numerous. He has a small group of close friends but has been known to go for days without talking to anyone. His high school records are marred by disciplinary actions taken against his disruptive behavior. He is not well known at The University.

Yours truly,

The Writer

getting there

2006-05-26T18:48:00.000Z

i'm going to get rolling soon. i'm moving tomorrow, so i'll have a completely new creative atmosphere. and hopefully, fewer distractions.

the whos and hows of focus

2006-05-23T15:57:00.000Z

i titled this like i was going to give my take on the subject. i'm not.

i'm going to try to work it out, though.

i've always been of the opinion that you need a main character. i see why this might not apply to what i want to write, but it might cover my tracks if i only focus on one character because i fear all my characters will come out the same.

my bigger fear is that i can only make simple, boring characters. in that case, i might as well make an army of them and pop from one to the other as i push the story forward through mechanical methods.

i did determine one thing, though. i'm going to write in third person semi-omniscient.

see, i'm almost half-way there.

conflict

2006-05-23T14:59:00.000Z

most stories boil down to it, but is that what i want to celebrate in a story? i have enough of that in real life.

it's true, conflict can make life enjoyable, but should it be the focus?

i don't know, so i took a nap and decided i would try to let it happen but take as little part in it as possible.

it will probably take quite a few more naps to figure out what that means or how to apply it, but i don't want to go down the same path everyone else does. art is art, but i want to take cranberries and stew them like applesauce so that they taste like prunes.

those testy aliens

2006-05-23T14:06:00.000Z

They came to Earth one day. From all reports, they were just like humans, but their appearance was a complete absence of light. They were walking, multi-dimensional shadows. They could speak our language, too. They carried weapons that held the same aesthetic properties as themselves. When they first made contact, it was as if a flood of darkness spilled out of the doors of their craft. Everyone was shouting orders. Us. Them. It was a wonder nobody opened fire.

still in the mood of cliched sci-fi

2006-05-23T14:01:00.000Z

“Don’t shoot the keypad,” he pleaded. “There’s a chance we’ll get out if you let me work on it. It would be a senseless act of aggression that will get us all killed."

The terminal shattered as the bullet made impact. The door quickly slid open.

"It would appear as if my senseless act of aggression just saved all of our lives."

on that note

2006-05-23T14:00:00.000Z

And it was there, off in the distance. It was unmistakable, even through the billowing sand. The tip hovered a few meters above the rest, just like in the pictures. The team hesitated, not sure whether to advance.
“It doesn't matter. He’s kicking us out.”

okay, i have given up

2006-05-23T13:56:00.000Z

but this is because i'm going to do it right. i'm going to make an outline.

the problem is that i'm horrible at figuring out what happens next. i'm a horrible writer, in that respect.

so what i'm going to do is keep throwing ideas out there until one catches with my fancy and i feel like i want to write more about it and come up with a serious outline.

from now on, if the posts make no sense, that's because they're snippets of possible stories or letters to myself.

Novus Ordo Seclorum

not just yet

2006-05-21T15:53:00.000Z

i was thinking about chapters when an idea struck me. (it has very little to do with chapters) i thought it would be interesting to have a single character go through absolutely random and frequent setting changes. i started working on this based on a few dreams i had last night.

it will offer me an opportunity to use a lot of material that i have lying around, already written.

i'll tell you if i give up.

(this doesn't mean i'm officially giving up on my sci-fi thing, but if the other concept works out, i'll probably mesh the two together.)

i also had another good idea.

but that involves acid.

and my hand

2006-05-19T16:27:00.000Z

i have a habit of leaving little notes for myself. sometimes i find these notes.

i found one just now that i had written about my story and it fits in perfectly with my previous post. in my excitement of starting a new novel, i did what i have done many times before, which was list all my characters. i never use these lists. here's what i had written:

-Self-aware tragicomic cynical independent discontent bored asexual male. He’ll be your main character.
-Sentimental idealistic spiteful female. She’ll lead the plot.
-Diversion-seeker manipulative female. She’ll fuck up the plot.
-Frustrated strong-willed calculated megalomaniac male. He’ll make fucking up the plot enjoyable.
-Guilty secretly obsessed female. Throw this crap in.
-Meek witness witty male. This too.

i've already switched tracks about four times since writing this. i'm not sure if i'm going to make my narrator an asexual. think about how many subplots i would be denying. in fact, i think i even took the tragicomic bit out, too. and the discontent thing.

the spiteful female has turned into soul galore. her character is still in flux.

the second female was completely forgotten. maybe i'll add her in later.

the villian was going to make this story. unfortunately, i realized that most good books don't have villians.

that crap i threw in sounds better to me now. i'm not sure how witty i want any secondary characters to be, though. they should know their place.

okay, to be fair to me, i've just found a commentary i had written about those characters. the only thing you need to know is that the phrase, "less-than-inspired" came up.

right after that, i provided an excellent summary of the situation, or setting if you'd like, where my story starts:

The situation stems from the logical conclusion that, if we managed to make a spaceship (stay with me here) capable of traveling really long distances, the travel time would be far longer than the life expectancy of any crewmember. To work around this, you get the crewmembers to fuck the other crewmembers.

i then saw how silly this whole science fiction theme might seem to some people, so i went into a rant about dan brown and how people won't even need to trouble themselves with reading his book after the movie comes out.

my next note has remained very true throughout the starting process:

Anyway, my first problem is that I have no plot. It looks like I do, but I don’t. This is a big problem, but I’m going to ignore it for now.

yeah, so here's my spaceship:

since i'm here

2006-05-18T22:41:00.000Z

i'd like to talk about characters. this helps me avoid a world populated with people like me. i was about to write what sort of world that would be like, but that would take some introspection. maybe by the end of this post i'll be able to come up with something.

here are a few simple character profiles of some interesting people i have known:

-female who, as vonnegut would say, was "a fairly pretty girl, except she had legs like an edwardian grand piano." somehow, this ended up producing an insincere manipulative personality that has trouble holding multiple friendships. her femme fatale attitude is diluted by the lack of any real seductive backing or aesthetic superiority.

-male, whose odd upbringing has created a naive opposition to situations deemed dangerous or against implanted values. insecurities projected through perceived persecution.

-female who is quite attractive, and as such, employs a curious sort of passive arrogance. this can come across as awkward courtesy. outwardly rigid in terms of emotion. inwardly empty.

-male whose personality type is that of a follower yet has leadership status placed upon him in most group settings. as such, his actions and opinions are easily suggested. personality development will continue until he accepts his role as a leader.

so far, this list has guided me toward a concept that i notice in most people. we like to establish environments that make us confortable. this is probably obvious to most people, but the extent that this really affects us may be underestimated.

i do it, too. i find myself being stand-offish to people outside my group of friends. i'm an isolationist who longs for company. maybe it's just diversion. my beliefs aren't very strong, and i hold to them for the sake of having convictions at all. i think in a world populated solely by people with my personality, all actions would forfeit to apathy. without the stimuli of other personality types, my personality would hypothetically have no inclination to do anything.

i feel that my personality is a reflection of my environment. my true self doesn't exist.

how deep.

living is easy with eyes closed

2006-05-18T21:02:00.000Z

this is horribly unorthodox of me, but i've decided to delve into a realm outside of writing.

this realm i'm about to enter is that of john mackay. if you don't know who he is, good. if you're interested, he's a big deal insofar as creationists go. that, and he's an idiot.

i'm not going to say he's an idiot because of the whole creationist thing, because that would be too presumptuous. i said it because i listened to him for over two hours today and if that was what creationists can put up against science, they don't really have a chance.

if any of you non-existent readers ever get a chance to go to one of mackay's speeches, don't. it's not worth it. he preaches unintelligible design.

his proof is in saying that science is a human construct, and as such, shouldn't be held above the bible. i'm not sure how he defended the bible, but he convinced himself, at least.

i got a chance to ask him a question. here's how i recall it:

"Hi, you talked about how people are sinners if they don't follow the ten commandments. What is your interpretation of the second commandment?"

"Well, what is your interpretation?"

"It says don't make graven images of-"

"Anything in the heaven above, the ground-"

"Or the sea, right? And a lot of people don't seem to follow that, like when you had pictures of people in your Power Point presentation. How can you follow Genesis so strongly yet disagree with the second commandment?"

"You have to look at the context-"

"Right, it is obvious that the intent was that you don't pray to these graven images. But it doesn't say it."

"Yes, but you have to look at the context. The context is 'don't worship anything other than God.'"

"Ok, sure. Absolutely. It's just like the context of Genesis. The idea is that God created everything. You don't need to take the six days literally."

"No, you do."

"Then surely you have to follow the second commandment to the letter."

"No, you have to look at the context-"

"Right, ok, well thanks for answering my question."

don't worry john mackay. i'm not going to judge you for your sins. that's somebody else's job.

i dig a pygmy

2006-05-18T15:58:00.000Z

i'm debating something.

it's more just wasting time because i know i have to do something so i'd rather focus on something completely inconsequential and then write about it here.

the thing that i'm debating is whether to link to all my old writings here. it comes down to effort and my knowledge that nobody will stumble upon any of it.

in a way, it's secret. it's out in the open and nobody will find it. all of this.

anyway, here's a small fly:

revised story graph

2006-05-17T22:11:00.000Z

this title means nothing

2006-05-17T22:04:00.000Z

it's working. i got a bit further, but due to time constraints, i had to call it an early night. i changed the line about killing soul galore (who could say that to soul galore?) to this:

“I’m from your time,” she told me.
“Uh huh,” I said. “Can I talk to a grownup now?”

Say what?

this is the moment

2006-05-17T21:31:00.000Z

...of truth.

i would like to deny it, but this is the time when i have no idea what to write next. i'm coming up with vague ideas of stories i'd prefer to write. will i give up again?

no.

i'm not giving up on this one.

i've mixed cointreau with my stimulation drink, which could only mean two things:
i'm an alcoholic
or...
i'm preparing to get back on the writing bus, even if it has a flat and it's making that sputtering sound.

let's go.

oh no dear

2006-05-16T02:04:00.000Z

i sometimes fear that my different moods affect my writing way too much.

like now.

i got drunk in the afternoon. i took a nap. i smoked. and now i'm going to deprive myself of sleep, once again. in the morning, i'm going to walk to the store and buy cheap energy drinks.

how's that for self destruction?

...

dialogue is a shitty task for me, but when i've been up for this long, it comes out with a bit of a creativity. granted, it makes no sense, but it sounds like it's going somewhere.

My eyes opened for the first time in three hundred years and I saw a golden face.
“Hello,” she said. “I’m Soul Galore.”
“That’s super,” I said. “What year is it?”
I don’t remember exactly what year she told me it was. I’ve lost track of time. Some people go crazy without having a sense of time, but I find it’s the other way around.
“I’m from your time,” she told me.
“Uh huh,” I said. Then I became irate. “I think I’m going to kill you if you stay around me.” I think I meant it.
It was probably the effect of stasis that made me act that way. They’ve said it shouldn’t have had that effect, but I know they’ve been wrong about the side effects. I wasn’t supposed to go into stasis as a heterosexual and walk out as an asexual. But I did.
Go figure.

i guess i'll just have to wait. maybe something better will come to me.

a very small group of people

2006-05-15T10:23:00.000Z

life is always the most hectic when i want to write.

i'm busy.

i would say that for just that reason, i won't be posting or working on my novel, but i'd be lying. once things calm down, i'll stop writing. i'm lazy. i'll do anything but work. i'll even write.

and now for something completely different: character naming is an arduous, pointless task. snowcrash proved the second part of that. the first part involves sifting through names for something that doesn't remind me of anyone i know.

in one of my early drafts, i had my main character, who is also the narrator, named nat. i'm not liking that anymore. since it is sci-fi, i can name him whatever the hell i want. i've written about someone named urban quite a lot, so i might just reuse that. all the main female characters in my stories always end up named gabby. i've decided to avoid that here. i have the perfect female name lined up. it's almost too good to share.

soul galore.

ok, so it might not strike you as the most practical, but it's going to be an affectation. i love affectations. i love reinvention, especially of the personal sort. i also love good old fashioned rhythm and blues. hence the name, soul galore.

soul galore, urban sinclair. they mesh in a very new-age sort of way. that said, i've been throwing around the idea of making my main character (we'll say urban) an asexual. it will remind me that i'm no good at writing romances. i'm sure freud would have something to say about that one. the following is the pinnacle of my romantic writing:

Maxwell bought the car with his own money. It was a Peugeot 202 that was made not long after the second big war, the one in which Maxwell’s grandfather had fought. He fought in the war, not the car.
“It’s so cute," she said.
“It doesn’t have any seatbelts.”
“Neither does life,” she said.
“Then what’s health insurance?”
“For people who don’t know how to take risks. Anyway, you couldn’t insure this, could you?”
“No, but I drive slowly.”
“I can’t imagine it going any other speed."

See?

nevermind. say something

2006-05-14T22:19:00.000Z

i really get a kick out of curious things. the title of this post is from "what in the world" by david bowie. it's damn good, in a pee-wee herman sort of way. i like pee-wee herman a lot more, in that respect. i can't really reproduce that sort of creativity, though. i'm actually quite self-conscious about it.

i've tried to fix this. i've tried writing after sleep depravation. i've tried to write while high. i've tried to write while drunk. i've tried to write after taking a gulp of absinthe.

i'll explain my findings for each of those experiments:

sleep depravation - lack of concentration, objectivity
high - lack of concentration, care
drunk - lack of being able to type, read, or stay awake
absinthe - gagging, nearly throwing up, burning sensation in my throat, regret

i also can't write in the morning. i'm a right idiot in the morning.

my story is very down to earth. even though very little of it takes place on earth. i get a kick out of the science fiction elements of the story. i love using the word earthling.

"Nobody hipped me to that, dude."

to whom it may concern

2006-05-14T22:03:00.000Z

this title means something.

it's the first line of my novel. i like it. i'm sure it's been used before. it's unapologetic. if i could sum up the entire concept of my novel in one word, it would be unapologetic. i actually determined that before i wrote a single word of the first draft.

i don't recall exactly how i decided upon the idea, but i thought i would take something common and put my own personal twist to it. i fell upon science fiction. my story has been done a million times before, and as such, it cannot be deemed unoriginal. if i tried to write something completely different, it would, invariably, be done already.

we're all plagiarists. we've lived lives that have been lived a million times already. our ideas have already been thought. even those of us who are quite unique, like those thinking the government is reading our minds, are just joining a huge crowd of folks who all came to the individual conclusions that the government has a vested interest in our boring thoughts.

that would be the worst job i can imagine. government thought sifter.

back to my situation, though. i don't write science fiction. i never have. i've written some literary fiction, some stream of consciousness, some stuff i couldn't classify. this one, though, is unapologetically science fiction. it has spaceships.

it mainly ignores this, though. people are people, whether they're on a spaceship or bicycle.

i'm not sure how much i could write, though,

if it took place on a bicycle.

the next best thing

2006-05-14T21:40:00.000Z

i'm telling you, the titles mean nothing.

i don't mind that i'm posting so many things in a row. i'm not using this as a journal (diary, whatever). i write, and one of the tools at my disposal is visual separations. it helps the reader a lot. believe me, reader. i know.

by now, i've usually moved onto a new train of thought, and the white space above this line would tell you that. unfortunately, i'm still on about visual separations.

enough of that. it would be pointless for me to go over the plot of my novel. the truth is, i don't really have one, and if i did, i'd be too embarrassed to share it. it would suck. that's why i didn't try to come up with one.

my favorite author (aside from myself) uses graphs to describe the action and mood of stories. this is the graph for mine:

look, it's like a cinderella story at the end. i just realized now that i made a silly mistake. that's not the graph for my novel. that's the graph for the entire series of novels under the same story if i ever finish the first one. the first one ends, you could say, at the first dip. the rest was just a bunch of random ups and downs. the end is all that matters, but, as i've said, it won't come up for quite a while and you don't have to worry about it. i'm sort of talking to myself, in that respect.

i'll tell you one thing, though. i've written a lot of stuff. i usually have fits of writing where i'll get about 5000 words down and never want to see the story i'd started ever again. this story, though, has about 1500 words, and i have yet to see anything too problematic with it. it's insanely short because it's been very difficult to write. usually, i find it quite easy to start out. i think it's a good sign that it's been this hard. i was on my fourth rewrite before i even got to the third page. it took me weeks.

baby steps.

ground rules

2006-05-14T21:28:00.000Z

the titles mean nothing. i'm shit with titles. you should see the title of my novel in progress.

novel in progress. writing guides and amateur writers always call their stuff WIPs, for Work in Progress. they're really fucking right. it's work. real writers don't like writing. i'm a fake writer, and even i don't like writing. as of this date, i have finished no serious bit of writing, yet i keep plugging away, even though i hate it. the reason for this is that i'm not good at anything else.

i have a plan. i write a book, it becomes fabulously popular, i sell the movie rights, and i don't have to work a day in my life. from then on, i'll keep writing books but i'll release them for free because i'm idealistic and i think intellectual property should be free.

obviously, i have a back-up plan.

plan b: i get a job that requires very little thought and i write when i get home each day. (i'm still a lazy student, but i have worked before. no really.) if i get published, i get published. i probably won't, but it won't matter. as long as i finish a book, i'll be happy.

hopefully, i'll find the middle-ground between the two and finish my novel before i have to work. if i have to work after that (which i will), then i'll proceed to plan b.

i notice, now two posts into this time-waster, that i'm going on and on about writing, yet i haven't managed to properly capitalize a damn thing. this is how i write casually. i use capital letters with a bit more frequency in my real writing. this is how i distinguish.

get it?

the inevitable

2006-05-14T21:10:00.000Z

the word blog gives me such negative feelings that it's sort of depressing taking any part in them. a while ago, i had a small blog that was well-liked by a few strangers because it chronicled my experience in an interesting setting. a lot of authors will tell you that this is all you need to write good stories. a decent character in a curious setting. this is not true. we'll get into these issues later.

the reason why, against my better judgment, i've decided to fall back into the fray of blogging is only for myself. it helps to consider that there is a possible audience. if it's just for me, i don't need to write it down. i'm one of those people who thinks they know what they're capable of, even though nobody really knows what they're capable of.

i'm not really here to vent my emotions or go on about my opinions. i'm here to arrange my ideas as i take on that pedestrian pass-time of novel-writing. i don't like telling people that i'm writing a novel. it's almost as bad as saying i blog. now i'm doing both and it's eating me up inside. anyway, i figure i can write all the stuff here that i shouldn't write in the book but will help me take the next step.

right, so to reiterate, the point of this whole mess is so that i can organize my thoughts about my novel. i also have cats. and sweaters for every day of the week. no, to be honest, i'm not really in any sort of stereotype, but i do try to be easily associated with in my writing style.

that's about it.